Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Be Afraid, Be very afraid !!

The last week in retrospect has been a very frustrating week in terms of what I expected it to be and what it turned out to be instead ..

1. I set out for a place with high hopes of finding a particular motor which would satisfy my constraints..reach the shop, who raises the bar of hopes by saying that the particular rpm motor is available and then...it simply exceeds the dimensional constraints and hence, rendered useless. This was probably an omen of things to come, I guess.

2. We set out to "conquer" Mood-I Quizzes/WordGames over the weekend. The quotes have been used for conquer coz I know it would probably be too Herculean a task to win all the events in the purview as the competition was actually fantastic, something which I never expected compared to last year's participation, but getting cash back in return would have done an almost bankrupt man like me a favour. Well, we qualified for the Main Quiz finals and apparently topped the prelims ( a bit of C2D was involved, to tell the truth but we did deserve to get till there is our opinion)..only to be steamrolled in the finals. As for the Word Games event, we did quite decently in the prelims and would have even come back home with cash except for one stupid buzzer round which changed the tide of the finals and we ended up missing the top 3 spots by 5 pt ( as to why the buzzer round was crucial : each question was worth 30 pts and we knew the answer all along and forgot to press the buzzer and allowed the team which beat us to sneak ahead. D'uh,I know, but this was yet another instance for me coming so near, and yet so far :( )

3. Never before has it happened that my ticket in the Tatkal quota couldn't be booked..and this has to happen when I wanted my ticket as desperately as possible !

4. An ambitious project we are working on suddenly goes into Plan-C/D/whatever_the_letter mode due to employees of a certain motor mfg. firm being on holiday. And this news comes right after the firm seemed possible to deliver us the goods, in probably as early as 2 weeks when compared to the normal 1 month standard expected. We must be damned, I must say.

The above 4 sets of events have all seemed as promising to deliver and yet failing. Is this a sign of things to come or has the storm passed ? Have I failed yet again to read the omens or have I read it correctly finally ? I guess only time shall tell me the answer which makes me very scared coz I never trust the surprises, pleasant or unpleasant that the future holds for me. All I can do is pray that the good times have begun (and I certainly don't intend to fly by Kingfisher to Fly the "good times", unless they are offering me a free ticket! ) coz what lies ahead of me is as good as a make or break situation for whatever I'd set out to achieve at the onset of the current academic year.

I have a Dream ..And I bloody well want it to come true !!

P.S. The only set of events expected which I didnt mention earlier were my grades, which for now also seem to give me a ray of hope and expectation and I hope they don't end up the way the earlier set did !

Monday, December 15, 2008

Life Without Walls

I was watching the recent Test match between India and England at Chennai on TV and there flashes the Windows Skydrive ad with the following tagline :

" Windows A life without walls " .. which sets me into thinking .." If we don't have walls, where will we have the Windows ? :P Paradox max Ad !!

It seems with the exit of Bill, the Walls have crumbled around the Microsoft office :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

To B.E. or not to B.E. ?

Hmm, I was going through a certain book on word etymos and something which surprised me was the term, Bachelor -- meaning an unmarried male, in common parlance. Now, I have been pondering on this term for a while coz I have never been able to figure out why is someone is awarded a degree stating " Bachelor of Engineering " , so on and so forth..Do they mean that the poor chap who's awarded the degree is unmarried to engineering,when ironically, he's spent 4 precious years trying to figure out the nitty-gritties of the same and in all likelihood has failed to grasp them!

Now, it's surprising that the Forum for International Feminine Associations (FIFA in short) hasn't launched a scathing attack on the powers that be, to find the Bachelors degree to be disappointingly sexist and thereby launch a Spinsters degree for the females who would have been otherwise awarded the Bachelors degree. But the fact that they won't crib over the Masters degree is evident coz after all, its Mistresses who anyway rule over the Masters in most prevailing conditions. Anyway, here ends the reference to the title of this post. On to more serious issues..

Getting an admit into IIT (not the Illinois one) is a matter of prestige for most of the wanna-be engineers and their parents in the nation. But has anyone wondered about the situation of the fellow post-entry into IIT ? It has become an awkward state of mind for the lad when he returns home (especially, if he is not studying in an IIT in his place of residence, if there exists one). Any allegation on me bearing charges of anti-feminism can be mailed to : thisismankindnotwomankind@grantmeawebsite.org and for those without allegations, can continue reading this post, if they are interested to..Now this guy who comes back has a burden of the IIT tag on him. Yes, I call it a burden coz every move of his is scrutinized by the dastardly elements of the society wishing to prove that IITians are human in as palpable a manner as possible. The funny part is this - IITians never claimed they were superhuman, but have always maintained the fact that they are human. So what's the need to prove someone down in this process ? The problem is, this tag stays with him forever until he retires and comes back as a prof in an IIT coz then, he's living with people of similar backgrounds.

Another embarassing situation arrives when this lad is introduced to some friend of his parents as " My son studies in IIT-X*" and there falls the sky on his head. And God save the poor chap if this Mister whom he's introduced to, has a son/daughter aspiring to be an IITian and is probably preparing for the famed JEE ! It's not that he doesnt wish to help out but it's just the fact that he wouldn't want to be pestered with people asking for advice. After all, coaching classes are meant to be there for the same reason. They too have ex-IITians as some of the faculty members. Well, my interaction with students of other IITs has been limited but from what I have gathered, life at almost all IITs, remain the same, except for a bit of grading differences and maybe certain facilities and probably, ragging. But this fact just doesn't sink into other aspirants, moreso their parents I would say. It's good to be concerned about one's ward's future but excessive advice seeking never did anyone good unless they were going to start up their own firm with a database of these advices.

Now, it's the time for this IITian ( let's call him XY, poor fellow will have a name ot identify with his chromosome at least )--ok XY goes to a nearby mart whose owner (O) has known him for the past 6 years. Seeing XY after a long hiatus, he enquires about his education and the conversation is as follows :

O : So XY, coming back from a long vacation huh ?
XY : No sethji, just came back on a vacation from college.
O : College ? waah, badhiya hai. Which college ?
XY (with a sense of pride) : IIT - Delhi ji..
O : Arrey, ek ITI toh apne Mulund mein bhi hai na, yeh dilli-willi kyun jaana ! (Mulund- a suburb on the outskirts of Mumbai)
XY : /*Damn, this fellow doesn't know difference between IIT and ITI*/
XY : Arrey nahin, IIT , like the one in Powai..IIT Bombay..suna hai na ?
O : Oh achcha, like that bolo na..toh why Delhi beta ? Powai mein donation dena tha kya ?
XY : /*Damn, no point explaining him. Next he'll ask me my CET score and tell me that I could have got in VJTI itself( VJTI-- is the "best" engineering college in Mumbai, if IITB is not considered into picture) */
XY : Haan, that was the case. Chalo, I've work to do. Will come later.
O to another customer : Poor fellow..was a brilliant chap but couldn't get a seat in Mumbai itself. Had to go to Delhi of all the places !

This above conversation is not a myth but a morphed version of the real one which I encountered last summer. And I thought IITians were famous. No wonder, the political party floated by a certain group of IITians ( I think it's called Lok Paritran ) is a disaster !

Above all this, there's always the fact that your friends,( those who are fortunately/unfortunately not in IITs despite deserving to be so) will view any statement made by you with a prejudiced attitude, unlike the times before you cleared JEE. It's a part and parcel of this process called life that you move on from one time period to another and in this process, I think it's humanely impossible to keep in touch with anyone and everyone you knew well prior to joining IIT. And once you come back to your residential town and if you dont call up these bum-chums, they would think of you as "another IITian who doesn't care about us now that we aren't fellows in his league ". A popular misconception, I must say. I agree that it's a bit difficult to maintain the same bonhomie prevalent earlier and getting that spark back again does take time; added to the fact that every damned person has some expectation or the other from this XY that he's totally confused as to what to do and gets pained by trying to please everyone ( but in the process, ends up pleasing none coz he's worried about the statements he makes which become a bit formal over a period of time as he's unsure as to how the world shall react to them--once again leading to the Pre-IITian and Post-IITian schools of thought :( )

All said and done, I guess the only way to sort this thing out would probably not consider IITians as geniuses; at least don't be prejudiced in judging a person's statements, whether he's an IITian or not, coz we are all human after all, and mistakes or correct decisions are never decided whether a person is an IITian or not.

** There do exist female IITians but I have never been in their shoes to corraborate the same into my post.
## I hope this post is not considered with prejudice as an IITian's post or else, my whole purpose would be dissolved !

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Long Time, no C !

Aaah, yes. I couldn't post for a long time thanks to the ordeal that's Code-named " Mech 5th Sem, IITM " . I'm not much of a coder, but I did do C well ( as per one of my colleagues, who somehow managed to get my number and text me her coding problem coz she thought I was some stud !Aah, it's human to err )

Now, coming back to this blogpost material, lemme give you a brief of what kept me busy so long ( and oh, before I forget, I tried to blog sometime a couple of weeks back by trying to write my first senti blogpost only to crash off while typing it :P)

1. "The Spirit of Engineering " -- now, don't jump to conclusions that I was very enthu about my 5th sem, but the first ISO certified student organized festival in the world -SHAASTRA. I write it in caps, coz I believe it deserves to be. The tenth edition of Shaastra combined with the Golden Jubilee of IIT M was a treat to experience ( the spons treat we got after that also was :P )

2. Lit-Soc -- the earlier typoed "Lit(e)-Soc " suddenly got into me some infinite enthu, when for the first time in my 3 yrs, I attended all the events in the sem gone by..something I never even attempted to do in my earlier sems. And it saw me surprisingly participate in events where I've never ventured to do so in the past 5 yrs ( Well, I somehow lost all kinds of apprehensions of making a fool of myself on stage. After all, this world's a stage and if I'm the comedian in it, no problemo ! )

3. Mugging -- Aah, for once I saw myself mug like never before ( well, probably mugged better for JEE but this concentrated activity for 8 days during end sems finally ended my coded ordeal )

4. Fussball -- One of the better things to have happened to Jam in the last 3 years. Tottaaaaaalllllllllly loved it !

5. Misc : Hmm, this would describe all the TNR ( totally not required, for the uninitiated) activities that one could do in life ). Fine examples would tripping ( there were a certain trio who called themselves "brotherhood" amongst my fellow spons coords who were at the suffering end of this for most of the time :P), crashing ( but this was any day lesser than my normal crashing :( ), putting fart ( which reached a peak during classes with our otherwise boring profs somehow giving us enough content to come up with quotable quotes !) , etc....

Now that you, my dear reader, have been briefed up well about what I am going to write about, have the option to read the last line of this blogpost ( X marks that spot) and follow it or continue reading this post ..

Shaastra -- those 6 months from the beginning of May this year to this date, have given me the most cherishable experience in my life so far.. I've no words to describe it coz I'vent mugged for GRE yet, but scaled down versions of those words would probably be - kickass, phenomenal, fantabulous .. When I set out for work as a Spons and PR coord, little did I know what was in store for me ( apart from caling in orgs to get the moolah and if lucky, end up meeting them or at least the probably hot HR female or receptionist, none of which sadly happened with me !). With situations changing real-time and moods fluctuating unperiodically, this literally made me see some of the highs and lows of life ( ya, getting bumped and proposals getting rejected can get very painful until the cash flows in, trust me !) And if I thought that my whole affair with Shaastra 08 would be spons-ish, I couldnt have been more wrong ever. Like every twist in the tale, this journey too had one, although a bit predictable from the start, except that its magnitude was unprecedented -- The Golden Jubilee Conclave. Well, it wasnt the best a man could get but then, attempting something within a span of 2 months which other organizations take years to achieve, that too completely student-run ( who also have their acads to take care*) and yet managing to pull off the presence of a couple of members from the politburo and an eminent author (Ramachandra Guha, FYI) , who addressed an audience comprising top-notch company heads, alumni and of course, us :)
On a personal note, the icing on the cake for me was the presence of the Renault Formula One car, driven to victory by Giancarlo Fisichella, at Shaastra. This was one of my dreams at the onset of working for Spons and my joy knew no bounds on the day I received a confirmation of its presence. The fact that it's ambience wasn't all that flashy may have been a dampener, but then getting a REAL F1 car to be displayed for the first time in Chennai is also something to be proud of, I guess. Although, if my sources are to be trusted, another F1 display is on cards, this January at IITM courtesy, Force India or should I say, Kingfisher, to be apolitical !

*- One industrialist, who's apparently world no. 2 for Renault suggested that we guys take a two month holiday to prepare for the Conclave, to make it look pseuder than it actually was. T for him, is what we have to say, as though all that we have to do is Conclave. God Save IITians ( and their jobs :P) if that happens !

Lit-Soc -- Well, as indicated earlier in one of my posts, this year was a year of maajar responsibility undertaken by Lit-Soc secs of Jam to win the Lit-Soc shield for the first time in the past 11 yrs (if my trusted sources are to be trusted) and despite all detractors, I guess we have been able to put up a good show thus far. But to quote SRK in OSO " Picture ab bhi baaki hai mere dost ! ". I wish I could see the future but I just hope that it holds something great in the near future, which I would love to take back when I become an alumnus of this insti. This was the first year that I took part in any speaking event at Lit-Soc, one which involved Light music ( light ra mama, for its details - in typical IITM lingo ) and the other was Debate which to me and my teammate's surprise, fetched us the 2nd place :) Not bad for a half-hour fight which we put before the event ! As usual, our Drams performance was a display of spectacular acting skills ( although, the actors themselves were not too satisfied with their performance !) and our lit-event performances have been on a constant rise over the past 3 yrs which makes me hope that they reach their crescendo this season ( there are people who'll try to deng me for this and possibly try and convince me that Jam's not going to win Lit-Soc, but I'm not going to believe it until there's no mathematical scope left !! )

Mugging - lesser said about it the better :) ( I hope my grades are good, that's al; ! )

Fussball-- What do you do when you have a project worth 20% of your total course weightage, have 10 lab reports to cog off and are just 6 hrs from its submission time, have loads to mug for a lab-viva but have no enthu to do either of the above ? -- You play Fussball !! ( but of course, you must be privileged enough to be a Jammie or have good contis, who'll let you play here :P ) Kickass fun and totally unpredictable ( unless, you are playing against me and my teammate, who'll be better than others :P )

Misc -- If truth be told, this misc time was more than the time spent on mugging or Fussball ! Tripping came but naturally to me ( or so say the people who get tripped on :P) and farting is an essential quality which needs to be acquired to set one's insti life in order. So both of the above stuff, were needless to say, comprising max of my misc time although my trippiness has reduced for certain unforeseen and unmentionable reasons. I guess I'll save those reasons for a later post coz mentioning them now would involve tripping for the same reasons I shouldn't and that would become a paradox then !

All good things must come to an end, and similarly " All painful sems in Mech must also come to an end :P" which is applicable now, as I'm typing exactly 28 hrs after my sem has officially ended -- meaning the time from which I can't eat in mess ( not that I want to eat there! ). And similarly, I must end this post as well, but not without the mentioning of a few memorable quotes :

1. "Derivation of Mugged Expressions "-- the expanded form of a paper acronymized as DoME but which essentially stands for Design of Machine Elements :P Thanks to Alok for this one, considering the fact that it was w.r.t. an arbit max paper full of derivations which were at least 4 pages long but worth just 8 marks :(

2. " Choose a prof whose daughter is good looking and younger than you, for your BTP ( BTech project in short) " -- SKD, the Gawdest of profs to have taught us.. and then he mentioned his daughter's age to be 24 ! Just to ensure that we idiots dont pain him for BTP's I guess :)

3. " Yes, we can " -- I bow to thee, Obama ( or should I thank his strategist ? ) for the tagline of a century ! I had to keep one in this list which wasn't trippy and yet too stud to be ignored !

X - As indicated, X marks the ending line of this post. For those who scrolled down without reading the post, as per the earlier deal, thou art ordered to go through the same ordeal as others, who went through the above fart :)And yes, the title of this blogpost is referring to the long gap in my career with respect to coding. Hoping to do some useful coding in the coming winter :)

Dasvidaniya !!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Saarang LVC !

Well, LVC here doesn't stand for Long-Visual-Connect but Long-Verbal-Connect (Note that the earlier statement is only for insti quizzers who would be familiar with LVC like terms. If you aren't one, pardon me but if you aren't and yet know about it, Good for you ! )

The following is my entry for the Newsletter Ed's application for Saarang 2009. Hope you enjoy it ! (The theme also is provided below )

Connect :- Saarang-AJ-Time Machine- Lace-Angelina Jolie- E=mc^2—ACM Turing Prize-Booze-Why so Serious ?

The connection is as follows :-

The preparations had begun in full flow for Saarang 2009 with the people in charge of it slogging away ( in some cases like the Design Team, cogging away). Lace was also one of these guys( and gals) trying to get some sleep as he was trying to fix up the loose ends; the fix here being that he could not tie his own Lace ! But as they say, the Saarang Spons Saga was Lace-d with many such instances, with one of them involving him to order a spons coord to approach the ACM Turing Prize panel to donate the prize money as a Sponsorship amount towards Saarang 2009; as cash resources and time, both were running out. Meanwhile, Lace’s co-Core/C(h)or was being his reSPONSible self ordering AJ on how to go about handling “Public Relations” (read- “How to make their Relation Pub(l)ic “).

Now, it so happens that Alan Turing was known to have a Homo-Genius mix of orientation towards Computers and homosexual practices* (of which I daren’t speak of !)

*Quote misquoted from www.uncyclopedia.org

Hence, the ACM Turing Prize Panel, in accordance with Turing’s final wish, wanted to support homosexuality. Aaand, when they saw the logo of Saarang 2008, they were simply turned ON by it and gave away a huge chunk of the prize money as Sponsorship towards Saarang ’09 only to find that the same money was spent on booze, snuff,etc... So, now that we had cash, Akanksha tried to create a PR stunt by proclaiming to the media (read ‘Newsletter junta’) that AJ was coming to Saarang ‘09; the only glitch being that this stunt flopped worse than Han-Cock. The reason was pretty clear that she didn’t know that she was (in)famously known as AJ^ in IITM whereas the AJ she referred to was Angelina Jolie (or probably Angelina Jolie ‘Pit’t, by the time this piece goes into print).

^- AJ doesn’t stand for Akanksha Jain, but Arrogant Jackass !

This flop disillusioned her about Saarang 09’s look to the public and she was about to resign her Core-ship and offer it to me*** but she was somehow convinced by N2 that even ‘E=mc^2’ was proved only after years of 'hard work' and the same is applicable to Saarang. Well, trust AJ to goof up the simplest of things and she took N2’s words to be as “Hardly working” towards her goal and started boozing until she became a Bo(o)zo !

*** To me, coz she had the best TIME of her life in the most unique TIME machine I gifted her, to create her Moods as per her convenience (now do you get the Time funda ?), on our 7th wedding anniversary .

My friends, That’s the way Saarang 2009 crumbles ! Here I’m, Heath Ledger, Chief Correspondent, Crappy News Network (CNN), signing off . BTW, Why so Serious ??

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Pleasant Jerks ver 2.0

TTN has become a bit serious with his teaching nowadays ( read, telling lesser PJs per class) but yet we have another gem from his class here :

" I went to a restaurant which had buffet style dinner offering me dal, roti and sabzi kept in different rows. Now, while being served, I got Roti first, which was hot. Hence, good. Next, I was served Dal, which was also hot and hence, that also was good. But. when I was served Sabzi, it was cold. Temme why ? " ...............

"Well the answer is that it was picked up from the 'Sabzi-Row' " :P :P

Well, I know one thing for sure now that I will take up an elective in Industrial Engg. next year if it's continued to be taught by TTN.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Pleasant Jerks !!

Well, finally I'm dedicating a post to someone -- Prof. TT Narendran (TTN in short). What makes this post special is that I've not sat in a single class of his and yet I'm posting some of his delectable quotes (thanks to my choice of Minor, but well I never knew TTN rocked like this :( ) Following are some of his PJs, not in any particular order :-

"Which element in the Periodic Table can make you feel poor ? " ...... Antimony !!!!

"Which is the only creature apart from human beings having emotions ? ".....Sentipede !!!!!!!

"There were 2 scientists ;- Highf & Daw " Didn't get it ??? It's High-Funda !!! (Pun Intended)

More are to follow as his classes go by ! Wow, now there's a Prof. in IITM who can keep a class going :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

1111111 / 12 O' clock

Well, it's been a long time since I posted here and hence got the feel to write something but at the same time, I was too lazy to write as well.

Lots of things to write about, but where to start is the question. So this is what I plan to do :- Write a blog-post every weekend covering the 'highlights' in fortnights that have passed by in the last 2 months.

And yes, if you didn't understand my title of this post,it means " Once upon a time " (Depends whether you understand rebuses or not :0 ).

To be contd .....

Sunday, June 8, 2008

A.I.R. An Insipid Ranting

This post is dedicated to...none, after all I haven't achieved anything so great that can be deemed worth dedicating to someone, unless you can count my PJs into consideration which are fit enough, according to me, for global domination. Didn't get it huh ? Well, the PJs will drive the people mad and hopefully, I'll let them loose when Mars is habitable enough and people also have enough money to travel to Mars. Due to this 'proper' timing, these 'mad' people will run off to Mars and Earth will be left to my mercy and hence, Global Domination.

Now, enough of my PJs ( I agree, too much of something good can also drive people insane). This post is an attempt to explain subtly some of the common acronyms used in our everyday life. Hope you find it entertaining enough. Even if you don't, please do comment; not because you'll most probably feature in my next post, but I'll at least know how jobless you could have been reading other useless blogs.

The order need not be alphabetically correct, but how these names pop-up as soon as I think of them :

1. A.I.R. --> Commonly known to people as All India Radio or All India Rank (for those nervous students awaiting their entrance results). My full-form will read as .... Apple's Intellibulos Result. Usage : " Macbook A.I.R. is the thinnest laptop in the world". I am simply short of words for describing AIR, it's truly le-gen-dary.

2. J.E.E. --> Joint Effort Examination (well, I dont take credits for these but one of the best profs to have taught me). Now, junta dont think that I'm getting too much into the exam mood, but it's results time everywhere now and hence, the words coming in my mind.

3. I.P.L. --> Indian Publicity Lounge..I guess this could sum-up a part of the recently concluded IPL, apart from the entertainment it provided and mirch-masala as well (Remember Charu Sharma and Mallya ?? ). Thus, providing publicity for a good one month. Thanks to it, even my 8 year old neighbour now knows about DLF.

4. B.I.T.S. --> Well, in normal parlance, it would refer to a reputed technical institute situated in a desert. Here, it means, "Bhai, Isey Tera Samajh"--used when it's time to pay the bill and you point it towards your 'friend'. No hard feelings meant here, but generally wanted to 'deng' BITS.

5. B.C.C.I. --> I'm not referring to our money-making Board of Corrupt Controls in India, but to these :- Booze,Cigar(ettes),Cocaine,more IITS --> the four things I feel we can do without on the path of progress. Well, the first three are easily understood. The last part refers to the intake of students from the recently concluded IIT-JEE into 3 new institutes. The sorry part is that they do not have sufficient faculty to teach them basic subjects at these institutes. Although, a sufficient amount of work inside IITs is a self-study exercise but that doesn't mean we can do away with teachers. But unfortunately, the government doesn't seem to understand the issue (I dunno what the Education,HRD ministers are upto apart from counting their votes for the next election). This seriously gives me the urge to publicly molest those idiots with the whole world watching. Oh sorry, I won't do that...it'll garner them more sympathy votes and they'll continue making even more stupid decisions to ruin lives of innocent people.

6. N.A.S.A. --> Nagarjuna's Association of Stupid Actresses ..ref :his comments on the only actresses he would work with. To find more, read this post till the end.

7. P.C.B. --> not the printed circuit board or Pakistan Cricket Board---it's Pagal Coke Bureau. Recently inducted members include Mohd. Asif who carries his membership proof in his wallet. Can also be called Publicity Coke Bureau..this Coke I mention can be used by yourself and travel to the nearest airport/immigration point and lo ! next day your photo will be definitely found in the headlines. Make sure to smile properly in them; you see the first impression should always be good to keep it lasting long.

Now 7 is a magically powerful number and hence, I am unable to continue further. But I shall definitely keep you posted on similar and better acronyms.

And for those who were searching for the references to my comments on N.A.S.A., let me put it in clear words --It was a rumour (but it probably was true..)Anyways Go Ogle at the actresses whom he has wanted to act/has acted with, if you wanna be even more jobless or else, a better option would be to read my other blog posts.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Las', A Grand Ethos !!

Well, all I can say is this "At last, one of my anagrams has gone down people's throats without leaving a sour taste ! ".

As you may very well have realized, the title is an anagram for something. In one of my previous posts, I had mentioned about posting certain details regarding a "particular something ". Although this is not the right time to talk about it, I will relieve the viewers from going through the agony of figuring it out. It unscrambles to "Golden Shaastra " and the anagram itself, I feel is grammatically correct in a small way. It reads "At last, a grand ethos ". Now the meaning behind this statement is of utmost importance, otherwise the anagram is of no use.

As ethos, by definition is some spirit imbibed in a culture, in this context, the spirit is the 'Spirit of Engineering' with the culture being Shaastra, the annual technical festival of IIT Madras. The year (2008) being the Golden Jubilee year of IITM, it adds significance to Shaastra, making it "Golden Shaastra" and hence, the anagram.

Now this anagram struck me when a Layzee fellow asked me to find an introductory title to one fabled brochure, which forms a very important part of my work for the next 4 months. I started doing the normal stuff-- searching in thesauruses for synonyms of introduction/welcome/greetings and the like. I went to the extent of looking up GRE word lists for such stuff, but finally gave up on them, since none of them satisfied me. In the end, I resorted to what I did best (at least, I claim that) ---creating meaningful anagrams. And Lo ! behold the anagram which becomes the title as soon as it's suggested to this Layzee bugger. It also added the element of thinking out of the box...erm, sorry out of the dice ! Again, full fundaes on this will be put up some time in the future.

Till then, I guess you, my patient reader, will have to wait. But I assure you, it'll be worth the wait (unless, I lose whatever sanity is left in me by that time).

Friday, May 9, 2008

The Chronicles of Fart-nia

Well, I'm back. Sounds cliched, I agree, but let me remind you that I've survived(or at least hope I have) the longest of semesters ever possible at IIT M. 26 credits,Period.

A lot has happened between the last post and the time at which this post will go to the press. Lots of stuff to chronicle and lots of stuff to be censored. And what I am to do in the next few days (and hopefully complete the tasks assigned for myself for the next 3 months) will possible be the most crucial phase of my life at IITM.

Some unique things which I would like to first talk (type) about.

a) Put all nighters for 3 of my 6 end-sems.well this may not be unique but what follows may possibly be. I happened to sleep for half an hour at least in 2 of the three-hour exams that followed. Was woken up thankfully by the invigilators on both the occasions (on one occasion, the invigilator thought that I had put my head down and was in Deep Thought ; pun unintended, and if you didn't understand the pun, get yourself a copy of The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You may or may not understand the pun after that, but you'll definitely understand the importance of a towel in the Universe :P)

b)I don't know why I didnt do this, but I DID NOT APPLY for any summer internship programmes(while EVERY person I knew in the institute had applied) during this period except in one case where I accidentally mailed my resume to one of the companies, even though I didn't wish to apply (that's coz I felt that it wouldn't suit my needs. After seeing the kind of people it's taken up for work, I regret it and still feel I could've done a better job and had put the dough to some better use) . I'm wondering yet whether or not I did the most stupidest thing in the world.

c)Got rejected twice after proposing, that too on consecutive days.....Hold it, these weren't marriage proposals, but propoosals to companies regarding Sponsorship for a particular something which I'll describe at an appropriate period of time.

d)Got kicked out of class (well not kicked,that's just for the effect, which I dunnno was effective or not) for sleeping. And the worst is that I went back to ask the prof for attendance at the end of the class, and he gave me since I was honest enough to leave the class. I guess I'm able to feel the situation of the students in my school-days who routinely went through such stuff (except getting their attendance back !) and I think of how much trouble I've got them into. Well, the truth is that half the pranks played in my school had my hand but I was well-hidden due to the "sincere student" tag and the "naughty junta" got caught always.

e)I saw the Lit-Soc shield being presented to Godav Lit-Soc secs and swore that by the end of next year, the same shield shall reside in Jam (oh, yes, I forgot to mention that I was "elected" as the Social Secretary of Jam in between. To those, who do not understand the previous statement, I'm sorry you shall never understand and I wont take the pains of making you understand; unless of cousre, we get the shield to Jam next year ! )

f)Saw a Hostel-Nite marred by 'n' hiccups (well, there were quite a lot who boozed enough to have hiccups too, but rest assured, I was NOT a part of that gang. I stuck to my total teetotaller image and even refused offers of sleeping with someone that night. To clear any confusions, the offer was from a drunk senior and HE was a Male. SO obba, I had to refuse :P). Apart from the hiccups and other cups, it was altogether an almost fitting farewell to an illustrious batch of seniors when the night ended at 5am and the Morning Raga started at 12 am.

g)I saw my plate of Bhel being pounced upoon by a cat, who I guess thought it was chicken (which was imposs, coz I'm pure veg). Maybe the cat had a cold that night or probably it could not think clearly and hence, required 'food for thought'.

h) Yes. I finally made use of the pool in IITM and started to learn swimming the day before this post gets puiblished. Was an amazing experience and a much awaited relief from the Chennai-Heat. One of the local radio stations has somehow managed to get Chennai right with its tagline, "Itha Sammu Hot Machi " aka "This is very very hot, mate". He may probably have referred to the "hit" songs being played but somehow those songs dont 'hit' well on my ears.

i) Finally, I managed to sleep for 11 straight hours in this sem. Don't ask me how, but never before had I slept for so long in IITM. This again may not be unique,but considering the tasks I had to finish that day, no guy (or girl) could have possibly dared to sleep that long. And I seriously thank GOD for somehow saving me that day by getting more than half the work postponed to the next week. And as is usual for a normal fellow in this insti, I hadn't done my work by then either, and put an all nighter to complete that work.

So, I hope you had a not-so-good time going through the life of another abnormal guy, coz if you did have a good time, I'm pretty sure you are abnoral as well.(That's good , join the gang !!) To avail a free copy of my complete chronicles, mail your requests immediately to : paymeforwritingorgetlostdude@nofartsnoarts.co.tv

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Moronic Verses

The stage was set in the Caesarian era. To prevent any misunderstandings, although Caesarians do occur even today, the time zone in the Space Time Continuum being referred to is the Caesarian era of Caesar (Julius/Octavius and the like). The exact time was never known since the manuscript on which the following conversation was recorded, was written in aCarbon2 ink and paper . Don’t ask me how, but I guess a suitable answer would be ‘Caesar said so’. Without further delay let the characters be introduced. First up is Monstaradius1, the world renowned astrologer/ practitioner /soothsayer (and in some circles, even a bluffer). If you haven’t heard of him, then you aren’t of Caesarian origin. If you have, then you’re surely bluffing. But yes he was the guy who told Caesar to be wary of the Ides of March and that’s probably why he’s world famous. Next is Einsteinisntagenius, the scholar who thought way ahead of his time, but could not see as far as Monstaradius and to complete the triumvirate, there was Bushius, the local simpleton who always though he owned the world and that he had every right to invade everything in his vicinity, including Caesar’s bathroom, in search of chemicals of Moss destruction but was pardoned since he was an idiot. And this is how they talked the talk:
M: I doth see dark times ahead for mankind,
but there’s so much light that maketh me blind,
E: So what do you see ,thy ghouliness?
M: I don’t see much, since I told thou that I was blinded. But yes, I did see something. Footprints!
B: You mean Footprints in the sands of time?
M: Thou shalt not insult my profession Bushius. These footprints are way ahead in time.
E: You mean Carbon2 footprints?
M: Aye, aye! And there are loads of those out there. These lead me to the place where I saw the blinding light. I think they lead to Armageddon.
B: And what do you see after that, my fellow countryman?
M: Thou art increasing my anger Bushius. Beware. I have told you that the light was blinding me and I couldn’t see.
B: Aye. But for zeus’ sake will someone tell what do these carbon footprints mean and how they lead to this place called Arma-the-gun?
E: Why doth thou have an obsession with guns, Bushius? Anyway, “Carbon footprints” is going to be defined as the measure of impact of human activities in terms of the amount of greenhouse gases produced, therefore increasing global warming
M: Precisement.
B: Well, but why the Erebus will they call it footprints when everything is... well, so abstract?
M: Remember that what we speaketh of is way ahead in time. So probably it would make sense to them and not to us.
E: Well. According to my improbability-fartistic calculations, less than 0.0I per C will understand what it means then. So they could remain abstract even then.
B: Okay, forget the abstract part. What art those greenhouse gases and how do they increase global warming? I mean, is it related to some human activities because of which lots of gases are emitted?
E: Well, yes, but...not in the way you see it Bushius. Now that you talk of it, I shalt get back to you, regarding how green thise gases you talketh about are.
B: Okay, you mean to say that what future lineage is going to do is going to make this world a hotter place to live in? Cool mate .
E: Now, why doth thou say that it’s cool when it’s going to get extremely warm out there?
B: It’ll atleast help us to get our water baths get warmer quickly and wow, I love water baths.
M: Bushius, remember that life isn’t just about water baths. There are also other things in life top worry about.
B: Like what?
M: Well, I knoweth not. But I see this in the future that people will face lots of problems.
E: Now, statistically speaking, that will be true.
M: Yes, even more so because a guy called Al Gore/El Gore/El Bore or some whore gets a prize for pointing this out.
E: You mean the El Bore guy gets a laurel wreath for just pointing this out?
M: Yes and also got applauded for pointing out that one Ms.Porky Hicton’s* semi-nudity was also adding to the warming of the earth.
B: Wow, I wish that I would be alive then to watch her. But coming to talk the serious talk, how can we cut down on this hot affair?
E: Plant trees.
B: But we doth have loads of them.
M: Aye, but they won’t have the same canopy Bushius.
B: Ok, we do plant trees. But how, when, where and why?
E: Well, how is very easy and hence I won’t answer it. When? Whenever thou doth feeleth unhappy about the situation or you maketh mankind unhappy. Where? Obviously where there is no tree and why? Because according to me, they stop these greenhouse gases from going out; I don’t know why but probably since they’ll be green, the gases will be taken up by the trees.
M: Now, isn’t that cool?
B: OH, I think I got the idea. So whenever I see that El Bore upset and orating about the Helitonising3 of earth, I, or rather, my lineage should plant a tree. Whenever I go on a chariot to a palaestra## or my successors go on a chariot driven by the burning of wood# and someone shouts about it, I’ll slap him and yes, plant a tree.
M: Yes. Trees are our only hope, apart from the boy with the lightning scar and a wand (again made of wood!)
B: So, now that we doth know the plan, why not form a Humanity4 to solve this problem?

B: I being the leader, propose to stand on the pulpit and speak:”Friends, Romans, War-mongers. I come to you not to speak about global warming, since it’s already a hot topic for discussion. I come to seek your support to eliminate it. There’s only one possible solution to this. We, our Humanity, have been looking deeply into this matter, in a very deep way. And the problem, we have found out, lies in Nature. We need Nature to cooperate with us. If not, we will make Nature cooperate with us...
The remaining part of the speech was drowned in applause by the fickle-minded Romans. The rest, as they say, is History.

*-->Name changed to protect identity
1--> Monstaradius saw that in the future, he would be reborn as Nostradamus and become very famous. So, he made his name from an anagram of ‘I, Nostradamus’.
2--> Carbon : This was named after the Roman God Of Non-Existence, whose probability of existing tends to zero.
3-->Helitonising: tons of Helios-> tons of suns warming up the earth. Also, due to the degradation of hearing, in future years, came to be associated with one Ms. Hilton, who was also related to the word ‘hot’ in some way.
4-->Humanity : comes from a mix of hum (the humming sound) and unity when the Romans realized that all that happens in a committee is the same, why not shorten the name and make it look more humble and broad.
#-->proof that the secret of engine powered vehicles was already known to them but they were lazy to make such a thing.
##-->gym in olden, golden words

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sleeping by Books on a Rainy evening

Well, these verses were created (some may even call it re-created) in a weather which induces more sleep than mugging habits. And if u liked the lines below, it could well go on to prove that Quizzes too can be inspiring.

"" The books are heavy and piled in a heap,
But I also have my grades to reap,
And lots to mug before I sleep,
And lots to mug before I sleep ! "

I just hope that my quizzes go well, or else..........God save me !

Friday, February 8, 2008

Extra "Rural" Lecture

Today, I happened to attend one of the EMLs (Extra Mural Lectures for the uninitiated) organized by the EML team. Well, let me start with a little intro for those who have never attended one (and for those who have, I'll request you to be a bit patient and continue reading). These are not the conventional lectures you would find in classes, but are intended to create an environment for unwinding people's thoughts and thought processing. Note that I said "intended" since in some cases, you'll sleep through some of them; in fact I almost slept through today's EML , despite sitting in the second row from the speaker. And yeah, with reference to what theme the speaker is addressing, it could be ranging anywhere between things related to Indian history or some personal issues which the distinguished speaker might have addressed/is addressing/has experienced.The speakers are usually well distinguished fellows and hence, it's a kind of rare chance to interact with them and if possible pull them down (Ref : Medha Patkar in of the EMLs in 2006). Well, so coming back to the point of today's EML, the speaker was none other than PV Indiresan, an ex-director of IIT Madras. (A very reputed personality but who is also kinda 'infamous'. For more references, you can Go Ogle about it).
The lecture started off on a light note with him referring to how fast IIT is growing and then pointed to the wall clock which was 10 minutes ahead of time (and that's one of the very few things which I was happy about this lecture). He then went on to ask how many off us wanted to be rich, how we plan to be rich and all that fart. Then he came to his point . Oh yeah, I forgot to mention earlier, the topic of his lecture was "Economic Growth and Social Justice". Well, he himself told that he may not stick to the topic and I never expected him to stick to his word except for a while when he was showing us snapshots of "reality" ; not all the idiotic 'reality' shows which frequent our TV screens more frequently than the Saas-Bahu types(I wish I could ban both of them, sadly both are "hits" and boost the Totally Random Paagalpans aka TRPs), but depicting the pitiable conditions of a huge strata of our society and what we are doing..... sorry , not doing to resolve them. I was sleeping through most of this part coz I had done much more than what he had shown me under my Humanities Prof. last sem and I didnt want him to repeat that with statistics whose correctness I'm still unsure of. Well, I was woken up by my friend sitting next to me (he accidentally placed his foot on mine !)and by that time he was trying to distinguish pleasure and happiness ; so I continued staying awake till the end of the lecture. Then there was the usual question and answer(s) session for about 15 min.Now, this is where I got psyched out. To every question he posed, he would just say "THINK" at the end of the slide. And to every question posed to him by us, I don't think anyone could make out a definitve answer from his words.I guess despite leaving the institute, the vague-answers-to-questions-asked-by-students-syndrome hasn't left him yet.I agree with him in urging us to think, but couldn't he have tried much more motivational methods ? If all he wanted us to do was think, I would have been happily playing cricket in my hostel or probably preparing ("thinking" )for my upcoming quizzes. I was expecting something new from this lecture, something "extra", but alas, in my viewpoint what I got "extra" was just the time spent in some air-conditioned hall (and the nearest possible view of the Dean's A**). The funny part was that a fellow had asked him whether our population seems to be a hindrance in economic growth to which he cited examples of cities in Holland,Britain,etc. telling him that we can still be prosperous despite high pop. density and he almost contradicted himself in the next question posed to him to which he cited models of cities with smaller populations and how they should be followed to decentralize populations in big cities. Duh !!!
I would end with some points which I found encompassing the lecture. Firstly, he tried his best to keep the mood light-hearted for which I appreciate him. Secondly, it was supposed to be an "extra Mural lecture" and not an "extra Rural lecture" which was it turned out to be and hence, was not greatly informative to me. And lastly,if you ever want to make a person think to yield something constructive, show him at least a path to follow among his current options so that he can be concerned ,compassionate, comprehensive,capable to carry out the task he set forth for ; which, in my opinion , Mr. Indiresan was hinting at but couldn't make it very clear.

That's all folks ! Any cribs can be directed to dudegetlost[at]noreplies.com

Monday, February 4, 2008

Every Quote has a "Shiny" lining

"We're back on the top " remarked a freshie to me, to which Shiny, our Soc-Sec responded "What ? In Tech-Soc ? " :)

Points to be noted :
1. The freshie was talking about Arse-nal getting back to the top of EPL(momentarily) and putting a big attempt to nullify Manchester United's glory, which he obviously failed to do so.
2. Jam winning (or even leading) Tech-Soc is like Tapti/Narmad winning Schroeter ----> Zero Scope for next two years.
3. Shiny is the Bulb-God. So he is our eternal provider of such eternal quotes.