Sunday, June 8, 2008

A.I.R. An Insipid Ranting

This post is dedicated to...none, after all I haven't achieved anything so great that can be deemed worth dedicating to someone, unless you can count my PJs into consideration which are fit enough, according to me, for global domination. Didn't get it huh ? Well, the PJs will drive the people mad and hopefully, I'll let them loose when Mars is habitable enough and people also have enough money to travel to Mars. Due to this 'proper' timing, these 'mad' people will run off to Mars and Earth will be left to my mercy and hence, Global Domination.

Now, enough of my PJs ( I agree, too much of something good can also drive people insane). This post is an attempt to explain subtly some of the common acronyms used in our everyday life. Hope you find it entertaining enough. Even if you don't, please do comment; not because you'll most probably feature in my next post, but I'll at least know how jobless you could have been reading other useless blogs.

The order need not be alphabetically correct, but how these names pop-up as soon as I think of them :

1. A.I.R. --> Commonly known to people as All India Radio or All India Rank (for those nervous students awaiting their entrance results). My full-form will read as .... Apple's Intellibulos Result. Usage : " Macbook A.I.R. is the thinnest laptop in the world". I am simply short of words for describing AIR, it's truly le-gen-dary.

2. J.E.E. --> Joint Effort Examination (well, I dont take credits for these but one of the best profs to have taught me). Now, junta dont think that I'm getting too much into the exam mood, but it's results time everywhere now and hence, the words coming in my mind.

3. I.P.L. --> Indian Publicity Lounge..I guess this could sum-up a part of the recently concluded IPL, apart from the entertainment it provided and mirch-masala as well (Remember Charu Sharma and Mallya ?? ). Thus, providing publicity for a good one month. Thanks to it, even my 8 year old neighbour now knows about DLF.

4. B.I.T.S. --> Well, in normal parlance, it would refer to a reputed technical institute situated in a desert. Here, it means, "Bhai, Isey Tera Samajh"--used when it's time to pay the bill and you point it towards your 'friend'. No hard feelings meant here, but generally wanted to 'deng' BITS.

5. B.C.C.I. --> I'm not referring to our money-making Board of Corrupt Controls in India, but to these :- Booze,Cigar(ettes),Cocaine,more IITS --> the four things I feel we can do without on the path of progress. Well, the first three are easily understood. The last part refers to the intake of students from the recently concluded IIT-JEE into 3 new institutes. The sorry part is that they do not have sufficient faculty to teach them basic subjects at these institutes. Although, a sufficient amount of work inside IITs is a self-study exercise but that doesn't mean we can do away with teachers. But unfortunately, the government doesn't seem to understand the issue (I dunno what the Education,HRD ministers are upto apart from counting their votes for the next election). This seriously gives me the urge to publicly molest those idiots with the whole world watching. Oh sorry, I won't do that...it'll garner them more sympathy votes and they'll continue making even more stupid decisions to ruin lives of innocent people.

6. N.A.S.A. --> Nagarjuna's Association of Stupid Actresses ..ref :his comments on the only actresses he would work with. To find more, read this post till the end.

7. P.C.B. --> not the printed circuit board or Pakistan Cricket Board---it's Pagal Coke Bureau. Recently inducted members include Mohd. Asif who carries his membership proof in his wallet. Can also be called Publicity Coke Bureau..this Coke I mention can be used by yourself and travel to the nearest airport/immigration point and lo ! next day your photo will be definitely found in the headlines. Make sure to smile properly in them; you see the first impression should always be good to keep it lasting long.

Now 7 is a magically powerful number and hence, I am unable to continue further. But I shall definitely keep you posted on similar and better acronyms.

And for those who were searching for the references to my comments on N.A.S.A., let me put it in clear words --It was a rumour (but it probably was true..)Anyways Go Ogle at the actresses whom he has wanted to act/has acted with, if you wanna be even more jobless or else, a better option would be to read my other blog posts.